Life changing

That 4 days was up.

I went back to the Endocrinologist only to embrace my fate and prepare myself for the inevitable. Somehow I feared being prescribed Insulin, I had some apprehension about it perhaps thinking that this is the only way out for those who are drastically diabetic. Knowledge is power, as they say. Upon reading more factual information about GDM and Insulin, I slowly accepted that this is in fact the safest route for me, being pregnant and want to avoid unnecessary drugs. I read about other women's plight, find out recipes I could use and I know I just have to get through this at my own great effort. No pain no gain huh? I surely learnt this the hard way.

The insulin prescribed to me has to be injected at every meal, that means 3 times a day. There is also another type of it that has to be injected before I go to sleep. Add that with pricking blood 4 times a day for checking glucose levels after every meal and when I get up in the morning, making it 8 times a day in total I have to find courage to prick myself. Remember I'm not all excited about needles and blood? All these time whenever a nurse or doctor has to draw blood from me, I recalled how a childhood GP used to distract me with a picture on the wall or asking me about my day. Before I knew it, it's all done. Since I cannot coax all the nurses to talk to me about my day, my eyes will surely linger around the room for a picture or something to fix myself on till it's over. To this day. But now, imagine me having to deal with all this myself. Oklah, for those of you who are bravehearts, bear with my mama-drama for awhile.

After picking up the insulin 'pens' from the pharmacy, I went back to the nurse so she can show me how to use it. I cried. So much pressure on me to fix this problem that I have. I'm mentally, physically exhausted. My first pregnancy wasn't a bed of roses either. I developed some kind of abnormal rashes that lasted pretty much throughout the pregnancy - and faint marks of them still exist on my skin. Upon looking at my daughter now, who is all grown up with beautiful characters and wonderful big heart, I cannot help but to thank Him. If that was what I had to go through, and in compensation have this daughter who cries whenever she thinks she misses a prayer, or forgets to recite/practise her Quran, then by all means, I did not go through those pain and discomfort in vain. That's all a mother could ask for. And I pray as well, this baby I'm having will be pious and righteous, successful in this life and hereafter, Ameen.

Ever since the Insulin, I'm learning to manage my meals better. I actually stopped cooking malay dishes altogether as it'll just remind me of rice - my biggest enemy right now. Oh, I tried brown rice. I have just one word for it - Eeeyuck. I actually once mixed some brown rice and white rice when some friends brought over assam pedas. It was bearable, but still, I prefer to go without rice altogether in this case. The readings that day for lunch was actually OK but unfortunately, when I ate the same for dinner, I did not get the same good result. :( Perhaps the gap between meals was too close.

The kids started to go to school last week, so my breakfast starts as early as 6am, and lunch will be a long gap till at least 12pm. That alone helps me a lot than my previous topsy turvy summer timings. Dinner will be at least 6pm. I'm happy to share that the results on most days are getting better now. I've also added Swimming as my regular activity. Yes it's still hot out there, but still, I prefer it over treadmill many times over. I'm also feeling a little discomfort in the pelvic area these days. After lunch, I'll jump in the pool and do at least 10 laps back and forth before I run off and pick up the kids. Yes, now more walking also due to getting kids back from school. All in all the numbers are getting better - and yesterday at my recent appointment with the doctor, I'm happy to note that I lost more than 2 kgs from changing diet and lifestyle thus far. Only 2 weeks. Yes I may be pregnant, but I'm also on the bigger side so what I'm losing does not affect the baby at all, as baby is in fact getting better nutrients now with my healthy diet. One of the complications for GDM is that baby tends to be bigger and this will be difficult at delivery as he/she might not be able to pass through the birth canal. At this point, I really do not want to go through a C-Section, but then again, I'm going to embrace that if that has to happen for both our sakes. Never say never.